Let me go
by Tala95
Summary: A one shot of life after Raph's family is gone. He blames himself and asks for forgiveness.


Raph stood in the lair he had come to call his home for the past twenty five years. It was cold, dark and empty. He found it almost hard to believe that just five years ago it was teaming with light and happiness when he and his three brothers lived there; and now everything was overturned and damaged in one way or another. He walked further in; disturbing the dust with every step he took. Everything was coated thickly with the dust. He walked past the kitchen and looked to it. He could see a faint outline of Michey holding a frying pan.

_"Breakfast is ready, come and eat." _The ghost- like figure of Michey beamed from ear to ear as he spoke and stared with his usual happy, childish look. As soon as it had come, the memory faded, leaving the kitchen dark and dull again. Raph gave a smile, before moving on. The next stop was the training dojo. Stopping in the doorway, another memory appeared.

_Leo was hitting a punching bag, training before his younger brothers had woken up. Raph stepped in and gave a smirk._

_"You wanna practise on someone that won't stand still?" he asked. Leo turned and gave a curt nod. Within seconds, the punching bag was put away and the two had taken the stances their Sensei had taught them. _

_"On three," Leo said, "One, two, three." They both lunged forward and attacked and blocked against each other. The two were very evenly matched. The more they fought against one another, the more their competiveness grew. Raph punched out and Leo ducked, swiping his leg underneath his younger brother. Raph fell to the ground, landing on his shell. _

_"I win," Leo said, with a grin and holding out his hand._

Again the image faded and Raph turned away not wanting to cry. He walked down the corridor that led to each of the rooms as well as Donnie's lab.

_"Raph, hold still." _Came Donnie's voice. Raphael entered Donnie's lab and stared as a vision of Donnie and Raph came into view.

_Raph was getting bandaged up after a fight with some thugs he had found top side. He was squirming, wanting to go and get revenge on the punks that beat him. Donnie continuously put a hand on Raph's chest, pushing him back in his seat to stay still. _

_"The more you move," he said, "The harder it is for me to make your wounds heal quicker. With a huff, Raph sat still long enough for his brother to bandage him up. The moment that was done, Raph stood up and left, muttering thanks to the purple head banded turtle. _

Raph watched as the vision of himself walked past and towards the entrance of the lair.

"Don't go," he muttered. It was too late, his vision vanished. Still forcing his emotions to stay down, Raph went to the last place he intended to visit. Master Splinter's room. Stepping inside, Raph felt like he was forbidden to enter. He knelt down on the old pillow that Splinter had set up for his sons for when they needed to talk to him. He bowed his head and felt tears running silently down his face.

"I'm sorry Sensei," he said, "It was all my fault. A gently hand placed itself on his shoulder. Raph looked up into the faint glowing face of his father.

_"It's alright my son," _he said, _"There was nothing you could have done." _

"But I stormed out, if I had stayed-"

_"Then you wouldn't be walking the earth again." _

"I am so sorry." Raph now had tears streaming down his face and he found it hard to try and keep his voice calm.

_"Raphael, my son; you are not to blame for this incident and your brothers do not blame you for anything. We wish you peace and want you to let us go." _As Splinter said that, the figures of Leo, Donnie and Michey stood beside Splinter; each one the same faint glowing as their father.

"How can I let go?" Raph asked, "I don't know how."

_"You are allowed to grieve, but you must move on with your life. Keep the city safe while we are not there. Casey and April are still there; talk to them and most importantly never forget that you are not the one to be hated," _Leo said. Raph opened his mouth to speak when a soft child's voice interrupted him.

"Daddy?" Raph turned and in the door way stood four young human like rats; barely older than six years old. Raph quickly wiped his eyes and looked back to where his family was just a moment ago. They were now gone and only a dull, dark room stood there. He looked back to the rats, whom he had found, just like Splinter had found him and his three brothers.

"Yes, Michey," he said.

"Are you okay?" Michey replied. Raph nodded and stood up.

"Follow me," he said, as he walked past the four rats and out to where the table used to stand. He turned to the four rats and gave a grin. "How would you like to move here?" he asked. The four rats looked at each other for a few moments before cheering and dancing around in a circle.

"Leo, Donnie, Michey, Splinter, we have to clean this place up a bit and fix what is broken and then we can start to move our things in," Raph said, addressing the four rats by name. Almost at once the four rats set about, cleaning up small pieces of wood and fabric that had broken off objects and placed them into a pile by the entrance. Raph looked to the corridor and saw his four family members watching on with happiness and pride.

"I'll never forget you," Raph whispered, "Please don't forget me."

_"Not in a million years," _Michey called out. With that Raph's brothers and father disappeared and happiness washed over the lair.

"I love you," Raph whispered out.

_"I love you too," _came the voices of his family, in unison. A hand grabbed his and Raph looked down. Splinter was standing there.

"Come on daddy, we have to clean up," he said in a happy voice. Raph smiled.

"I'm coming," he replied. He was dragged to where his four new family members were and started to help.

"I love you," he said to them.

"We love you too daddy," they replied in unison.

**Well what do you think? I was in a bit of a depressive mood after listening to a song and this idea came to mind. **

**I would like to thank you all for putting up with me over the past three years and I hope you have patience while I continue certain stories. If you enjoy this story, and would like to read more one shots, don't hesitate to ask. Thanks again and until next time enjoy your days. **


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